I had a taste of separating home from work today and didn't and haven't done to well.
While I was in a meeting for our shift change this morning I was informed that while everyone in the assisted living homes including all staff(and me=(...) were sick Monday it followed to a resident that I had grown to become REALLY close to. He was 60 years old and non verbal due to his brain injury. He was very vocal and loved to hold hands and be in constant physical contact. He laughed and did things to make us laugh and frustrated us all at the same time.
Tuesday night he became really ill and the staff took him to the hospital Wednesday afternoon after high blood pressure. He became unconscious after and shortly after suffered a heart attack and passed away at 8pm.
When I was told I felt like I was hit with a big rig!
I was planning on going in and seeing his smiley curious face today and instead passed by his room several times and waited for him to come out following his staff member and being his noisy happy self.
I find it hard to not take feelings home and I hope to learn to separate the two very soon. I have a 40 min drive home from work and usually can separate frustration or being tired but I could not kick this.
Anyway I guess my point is I hope we all learn to separate work from home.
I understand this challenge all too well myself, Shelia. I hope we can all learn to not take our work home with us but I will add that I also hope we all maintain our compassion and empathy as we grow along this path, also. I think that is a very delicate balance, but I think we all are coming into this field because of our capacity to empathize and want to help others. I've been on a lifelong journey of mastering this art myself.
ReplyDeleteThis is easier said than done. I find it difficult leaving work at work and struggle with it always. The thing we have to do is take care of our selves because no one else will. If we don't take care of ourselves then we can't help others. Shelia take some time for yourself and take care.
ReplyDeleteI still cry when I hear about clients (present and past) who have passed on... Not sure we would be good Social Workers if we didn't feel things so deeply. The key is figuring out how we take care of ourselves and our personal relationships in the process? Here is my thought... (just mine... not a fact)... for me I strive to always be genuine. To cry when its appropriate to cry and to laugh when it's appropriate to laugh. Do I cry with a client? Sometimes... if it is appropriate. Do I break down sobbing? No, but when witnessing someone's pain, it is appropriate to have a reaction. Again, for me it is balance. How do I stay true to myself, model that a range of emotions are human and 'normal', and make sure that my client doesn't feel the need to start protecting me? I guess it takes practice... but wanted to start the conversation with you. What do you think? Is it appropriate to cry with (or about) a client?
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